Gross thought, grateful for Purell

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
Post Reply
User avatar
MalcolmVillager
Posts: 702
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:01 pm

Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by MalcolmVillager »

So this struck me today. I hope the church has stocked up on Purell, since it is sold out everywhere.

No other community on the planet consumes foods touched by teenage boys like we do. I am guessing 90% have abused themselves in the last month, 60% in the last week, 25% in the last day, and 10% in this mornings shower.

Sorry to share my gross thoughts, but I hate when the bread is doughy and moist, straight from a teenage boys firm grasping fingers.
User avatar
2bizE
Posts: 2447
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:33 pm

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by 2bizE »

I foresee rubber gloves being worn my priests and deacons in the near future...probably members to until they just stop church altogether...
Last edited by 2bizE on Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
~2bizE
User avatar
Palerider
Posts: 2269
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2016 8:44 am

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by Palerider »

2bizE wrote: Sun Mar 08, 2020 1:45 pm I foresee rubber gloves being warm my priests and deacons in the near future...probably members to until they just stop church altogether...
This actually isn't a bad idea. Wearing gloves would probably make a lot of members feel better even not considering where the boys hands may have been.

It should be policy even if the adult men are performing the ordinance as they do on occasion.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington
User avatar
FiveFingerMnemonic
Posts: 1484
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:50 pm
Contact:

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic »

I find it amusing that the Stephen King Book "The Stand" about a superflu that wipes everyone out and a great apocalyptic struggle between good and evil survivors features a scene where survivors find a congregation of dead Mormons who died during sacrament meeting.

Now I am somewhat amused that it could really happen given our practices and norms.
User avatar
moksha
Posts: 5232
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by moksha »

Gloves and masks for all the congregants during a contagion.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha
User avatar
Hagoth
Posts: 7251
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by Hagoth »

I'm almost finished with my prototype of the Sacromatic, a robotic device the tears breads into small pieces and pours water into tiny cups in a sealed, sterile condition. There are two conductive pads on top for the priest to place his hands to ensure transference of his priesthood power directly into the bread and water. For a little extra tithing money, you can add the Deacannon, which uses computer vision and face recognition algorithms to locate the mouths of each congregant and launch compressed bread pellets and water capsules directly into the open maws of the faithful. I'm still waiting for approval from Salt Lake on that one. If they approve my request, the deacons will be able to bestow their priesthood power merely by visually following the arc of the projectiles from muzzle to mouth.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."
Corsair
Posts: 3080
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:58 am
Location: Phoenix

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by Corsair »

My father is a temple worker. The temple department has asked all temple staff to stop shaking hands to reduce the chance of passing any disease. He said that the LDS cultural drive to shake hands is very difficult to stop doing. I will grant that the temple is a hotbed of elderly people with illnesses and weak immune systems. But, this does not sound prophetic. It simply sounds like they are driven by the same fears that led to schools and churches being shut down in Washington. I would have been more impressed if they had shut down hand shakes during the annual flu season.

Also, let's note that the temple endowment is a series of hand shakes with a long line of people in close proximity. This continues with the prayer circle and the operation at the veil. They can't shut that down without major changes to the ceremony. My desire to not attend the temple may be keeping me healthy this year.
User avatar
FiveFingerMnemonic
Posts: 1484
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:50 pm
Contact:

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic »

Corsair wrote:My father is a temple worker. The temple department has asked all temple staff to stop shaking hands to reduce the chance of passing any disease. He said that the LDS cultural drive to shake hands is very difficult to stop doing. I will grant that the temple is a hotbed of elderly people with illnesses and weak immune systems. But, this does not sound prophetic. It simply sounds like they are driven by the same fears that led to schools and churches being shut down in Washington. I would have been more impressed if they had shut down hand shakes during the annual flu season.

Also, let's note that the temple endowment is a series of hand shakes with a long line of people in close proximity. This continues with the prayer circle and the operation at the veil. They can't shut that down without major changes to the ceremony. My desire to not attend the temple may be keeping me healthy this year.
Maybe they will issue white nitrile gloves to all patrons before sessions.
User avatar
wtfluff
Posts: 3676
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:20 pm
Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by wtfluff »

Corsair wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:01 amI will grant that the temple is a hotbed of elderly people with illnesses and weak immune systems.
Yup. Temples are basically long-term care facilities, without any nurses or trained staff on hand to take care of the elderly folks. (Or at least much fewer trained staff on hand.)

If the virus makes it's way into a temple, it will wreak havoc just like it has in King Count, Washington, USA.

I am wondering when/if I should call my ailing parent and tell them to stay home from LD$-Inc. meetings and creepy ceremonies. Alas, my parents lived their entire lives looking forward to spending their retirement in a Polygamy Palace. It wouldn't be surprising at all for the still surviving parent to die in the Palace. (Yes, I am an awful child...)
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

Gave up who I am for who you wanted me to be...
Corsair
Posts: 3080
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:58 am
Location: Phoenix

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by Corsair »

wtfluff wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 10:13 am If the virus makes it's way into a temple, it will wreak havoc just like it has in King Count, Washington, USA.
FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:27 am Maybe they will issue white nitrile gloves to all patrons before sessions.
All good points. If I were a temple president (and that will never happen) I would put a giant Costco pump bottle of hand sanitizer in every ordinance room and sealing room in the temple. I would recommend that everyone gets to sanitize their hands at every clothing change and just before the veil. That includes one more bottle of sanitizer in a tasteful white container in the Celestial room and one in each initiatory area.

I would also tell all patrons and workers to wash their hands like they just chopped up a bunch of jalapenos and they need to put in their contact lenses. This policy would be resumed annually when the CDC begins a new flu season. I will mention these ideas to my father and see how he responds.

This past month seems like an exercise in freaking people out without noting that cars, swimming pools, and bicycles kill far more people every year and no one is calling for restrictions on those. Our regularly scheduled flu season kills thousands of people each year and we never cancelled church. Even obesity is more dangerous that this new virus and I'm not seeing the medical doctor and heart surgeon at the head of this church make any smart changes to the Word of Wisdom.
User avatar
wtfluff
Posts: 3676
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:20 pm
Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: Gross thought, grateful for Purell

Post by wtfluff »

Corsair wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 10:45 amThis past month seems like an exercise in freaking people out without noting that cars, swimming pools, and bicycles kill far more people every year and no one is calling for restrictions on those. Our regularly scheduled flu season kills thousands of people each year and we never cancelled church. Even obesity is more dangerous that this new virus and I'm not seeing the medical doctor and heart surgeon at the head of this church make any smart changes to the Word of Wisdom.
I think folks are freaking out because of fear of the unknown: All of those things you mentioned are things that we know; Things we've lived with our entire lives. We really don't know much about this new virus and the disease it causes. Add the internet to that, and it's easy for the alarmists to get us to buy too much TP.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

Gave up who I am for who you wanted me to be...
Post Reply