Future of handshakes at church/temple

[Random]

As a sexual abuse victim, I just didn’t like creepy old men insisting that I shake their hands. My instinct was to back away when creep stuck his hand out. And some men got very offended when I backed away from them in a display of fear and distrust, but why were they so aggressive about a handshake to begin with? It was the aggressive, step too close, and stick their hand inches from me that made me react. Just back up buddy. The old Victorian etiquette was that a man did not offer to shake a woman’s hand, but waited like a gentleman to see if the lady offered. (But Mormons killed that holdover from Victorian culture, but kept the supper prudish stuff?) but as a Mormon woman, you could not refuse to shake hands as there were men who took great offense and some of those men were bishops. My offense at being grabbed was unimportant, but a bishop’s offense at being refused was proof that you were unworthy or whatever he wanted to imagine it meant. It never meant he was an aggressive jerk.

So, yeah, I really hope the male centric “have to prove you are not holding a weapon” goes away. I am not the only woman who hated not being able to refuse men we find creepy. No should mean no whether it is a handshake or a kiss or sex. Why don’t women have a right to refuse to be touched by creeps? Even if it is a harmless handshake. You do not automatically have a right to touch any part of my body. If we don’t want to be touched, that should be respected, no questions asked. It is way past time we gave up the “friendly” knuckle crushing, smash your poor arthritic hand tradition of warriors. I really hate the “firm” handshake taught to missionaries because I don’t even have arthritis and about half the time it HURTS when they do the “firm” handshake. Why do men have a right to hurt me? Then you see the handshake as power play, where men purposely crush their opponents hand, or keep shaking long past their opponents point of emotional discomfort. I have seen tRump do it to people, and it is just an act of domination. Yeah, way way past time we started bowing to others as a show of respect instead of smashing their hand. And to bow, you have to be a couple of feet away, instead of them getting right in your face.

Amen! Well said. And when I was in it, I had no clue boundaries were being violated time and time again. After all, as a female, I had no right to boundaries. Heck, even men not in leadership are not allowed boundaries.

[Mackman]

My 1st time through the temple I was so freaked out it took another 13 years to go back !!! I couldn't deal with some creepy old dude touching me and he was even a ting like a sexual predator !!!!! I hope the church gets away from all that my wife couldn't understand at the time what my problem was as she didnt know I was a sexual abuse survivor. Would have been nice if I had been prepared for that but no it's not secret its "sacred" yea right !!!! These days I'm all for elbow bumps , that's it.

[moksha]

The signs and symbols can be inspiring: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BA3SO1sokA