The Weaver in the Web that he Made

[deacon blues]

I was listening to one of my favorites from 1970 or so. I'm fetching old, yup. Tarkus by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. They were progressive in their music. Their lyrics were often atheistic. I can sympathize, but I'm still mostly a theist, or maybe a deist. Emerson took his own life about 4 years ago- made me very sad. He lost his ability to perform, but he still could have turned people on to his music.
Anyway this lyric jumped out at me: "The Weaver in the web that he Made."
It made me think of Church leaders at first; How they are caught up on this treadmill of building the Church.
Next I thought of Joseph Smith; How he got caught up in trying to justify himself.
Then I thought of Keith Emerson. I can't judge, because I don't know all the circumstances, but I felt bad, because I'm still enjoying and learning about his music. The internet allows me to explore it in ways that I never could back in the 70's. I'm at least grateful for that.
I attempted suicide myself, over a decade ago, and was saved by a remarkable set of circumstances. And boy have the last ten years been worth it!
I would remind everyone, and those who may feel hopeless. Your life is worth it. Take good care of yourself, and if your hurting, get help. We live in an age where so much can be learned, and each of us can contribute. In the name of Love and Truth, amen.

[Angel]

I attempted suicide myself, over a decade ago, and was saved by a remarkable set of circumstances. And boy have the last ten years been worth it!
I would remind everyone, and those who may feel hopeless. Your life is worth it. Take good care of yourself, and if your hurting, get help. We live in an age where so much can be learned, and each of us can contribute. In the name of Love and Truth, amen.

It is empowering to see others who have hit bottom, recovered, and thrived. Hope is knowing "this too shall pass", the ability to change. At times, just get through one minute, then get through the next. Get through one day, then the next. Weeks turn into years, and the darkness becomes a distant memory. Emptiness is filled, new joys are found, purpose, meaning in life, it just takes time.

Hope everyone out there is doing ok. Hugs to all!

[deacon blues]

Thanks for your reply. Things are great with me. I haven't been depressed for 10 years. I hope it continues- knock on wood. I' m just getting thoughts off my chest. This site has been wonderful, a lifesaver. Giving up the Church narrative has been very helpful as well, although some might disagree.

[Palerider]

I know it's just a movie but I think Tom Hanks in Castaway teaches a significant lesson about loss, hope, hopelessness, and endurance.

Doing "Life" is not an easy thing.

[Hagoth]

I'm so glad you're still with us Deacon!

Brain Salad Surgery was one of my favorite albums back in high school days (I'm old too). Keith Emerson's gigantic patch cable synthesizers were a source of endless amazement for me.

[Angel]

I know it's just a movie but I think Tom Hanks in Castaway teaches a significant lesson ...

Being alone - this might be the "only child" in me saying this - I've been alone for a lot and learned to justify why that strengthens us... I mean, in The Story, Jesus was alone - forsaken, and everyone rationalize why he was alone and forsaken...

There was this older grandmother in our ward, I got the impression she had been through some stuff, was hoping she would reach out, have words of advice to strengthen me. I left her a few good hints but she, and no one, ever reached out to help. Looking back, they just weren't strong enough. Have to revisit your own bad experiences to help another and we all spend so much to escape - we do not want to revisit it. Those who have not experienced anything to revisit are no help, no wisdom.

The story - someone who suffered all your pains - that doesn't help either, not just, not a way to strengthen yourself.

Your own two feet. Everyone at some point has to find their own two feet.

[deacon blues]

I'm so glad you're still with us Deacon!

Brain Salad Surgery was one of my favorite albums back in high school days (I'm old too). Keith Emerson's gigantic patch cable synthesizers were a source of endless amazement for me.

Yeah, I loved the music of Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. Brain Salad Surgery was a real high point for me too. I felt bad about Emerson taking his own life in 2016. I got the idea he was depressed because he had physical issues with his hands and couldn't perform anymore, but the guy was a genius- he had so much else to offer.
Depression is a beast. It may be the real Satan.
I think about 30% of my depression free life (the last 12 years) can be attributed to breaking away from the Church and the never ending treadmill of the search for- THE SPIRITUAL WITNESS.
NOM has contributed 10-20% of my depression free life. Thanks so much, everyone!!!

[stealthbishop]

I attempted suicide myself, over a decade ago, and was saved by a remarkable set of circumstances. And boy have the last ten years been worth it!
I would remind everyone, and those who may feel hopeless. Your life is worth it. Take good care of yourself, and if your hurting, get help. We live in an age where so much can be learned, and each of us can contribute. In the name of Love and Truth, amen.

What a great message! SO so so grateful you're still with us!

I have an attempt in my past too. It was over 30 years ago, and I am so glad as well that it did not succeed. A lot of people are concerned about false hope but I think false hopelessness can be even more of a concern and sometimes deadly. I was surrounded by false hopelessness at the time and I'm so glad I got the help I needed and recovered. I still struggle sometimes with hopelessness and even some depression sometimes but I have the help I need to recover when I do struggle.

Thanks for this post DB. Really courageous!