What if the seer stone spelt worse than joseph

[Cnsl1]

A stone in the hat beats two in the well.
But what if that stone just couldn't spell.

Maybe what we got is a bit errant,
And Nephi was born of goofy parents.

Cuz damn.. Lehi make up your mind.
We must leave Jerusalem! Oh wait.. better go back and get that book from Laban. And boys also go back and fetch some wines from Ishmael's vineyard. Wait.. wines?

Maybe there weren't thousands of Lamanites killed in battles, but "thou sends Laman's kayak in paddles."

I've discovered the key to reframing the BofM for apologists who can't find archeological evidence. It wasn't riding horses and chariots, ya'll. That was a mis-illumination. It was supposed to be rising the shortest into chair lifts.

The Seer Stone Spelling Errors Theory

[Just This Guy]

Maybe there weren't thousands of Lamanites killed in battles, but "thou sends Laman's kayak in paddles."

LOL! I love it. That makes SOOO much more sense.

[Red Ryder]

Makes total sense. Probably misspelled Virgin too. Could have been Vegan??

"And he said unto me: Behold, the vegan whom thou seest is the mother of the Son of God, after the manner of the flesh, which we doth not eat of.”

[Hagoth]

Oh, so the original manuscript might have actually been a very tight translation, assuming that the stone also had poor grammar:

“therefore I have wrote this epistle”, (3 Nephi 3:5)
“Adam and Eve, which was our first parents" (1 Nephi 5:11)
"and this he done that he might subject them to him" (Alma 2:10)
"that they did not fight against God no more" (Alma 23:7)
“they done all these things”, (Ether 9:29)
“when they had arriven to the promised land”, (Mosiah 10:15)
“and also much horses”, (Enos 1:21)
“as I was a going thither”, (Alma 10:8)
“and this shall be your language in them days”, (Helaman 13:37)
“they were not sufpiceentle strong to meet them”, (Alma 56:23)
“whosoever will com may come & partak of the waters of life”, (Alma 42:27)
"the workmenshup thereof was exceding fine”, (145:34)
"their yuarrelings & their plunders there idoleti and their whoardoms“, (Alma 50:21)
"i also beheld a Strait and mrrough path which came”, (1 Nephi 8:20)
"after that i had truvededror the space for of menny hours”, (1 Nephi 8:8)
(R. Skousen, Grammatical-variation, interpreterfoundation.org, R. Skousen, The Original Manuscript of the Book of Mormon: Typographical Facsimile of the Extant Text, FARMS)

[Cnsl1]

Maybe God, through Moroni, was trying to impart some information to our day about how to cut down on fossil fuels and save the planet.

"... and by the power of Holly's goat, ye may know that poop runs all things."

And Alma was warning us about forgeries.

"And now as I said concerning fakes-- fakes are not the same as perfect masterpieces. Therefore if you have fakes you hope for things that are not shit, but you have poo."

[Gatorbait]

This is really a good one and original.

Can't speak for the rest of you but I'd never heard of the seer stones until I was well into adulthood. Once I heard about them I busied myself to find out all I could about them. As many of you I said asked myself how this could be.

Bring up the stones to a stalwart Mormon and you get the same reaction, their eyes glaze over and they give you some feeble whining remark that we really don't know about the stones, but it doesn't matter cause by golly the BOM is still true.... (sigh)

Good post