Primary Program 2023

[Linked]

The kids in my ward had their moment in the spotlight on Sunday. Some kids read, some memorized, others struggled through, and one got so nervous he had to sit down without saying a word. They seemed to enjoy it over all.

The adults lost their minds over it though. It frustrates me how these grown women and men draw so much meaning from kids doing what they were trained to do. The kids say the words that were written for them by these same adults. And somehow that makes the church true *sob* and in good hands *sob* with the rising generation. What do they expect the kids to do, praise the evil one instead? After all the sobbing was complete, during the closing prayer, half the kids sat up there with their eyes open looking bored out of their minds. I'll draw my meaning from that.

[sparky]

I had to sit on the stand for our program as I'm still a primary teacher with DW for the time being. It was painful to say the least to hear the kids regurgitating standard Mormon propaganda and see the rapturous approving smiles of the adults. Oh but our program was extra special, because the leaders had previously asked each kid a gospel question and wrote down what they said for them to share in the program, and what do you know, they answered just the way the adults had taught them to! Miraculous, that.

The adults lost their minds over it though. It frustrates me how these grown women and men draw so much meaning from kids doing what they were trained to do. The kids say the words that were written for them by these same adults. And somehow that makes the church true *sob* and in good hands *sob* with the rising generation.

Totally. This is the difference from kids singing and dancing for a school program (very cute) versus a Mormon primary program (very disturbing). In the former we recognize that this is just kids developing talents and having fun. In the latter TBMs see it as kids expressing their "pure and simple testimony" that they intrinsically have, and only recently hauled with them across the veil.

Kids will believe anything, literally anything you tell them. You could invent a completely absurd religion (oh wait that's Mormonism) out of thin air and they would believe it. They have no experience by which to contradict and reject it. Kids spouting off nonsense that adults have told them in an effort to seek approval isn't inspiring, it's disturbing.

[Hagoth]

It's still the only LDS meeting that can hold my attention.

My only memory of participating in the Primary program was standing there with a microphone in my hand and saying, "Teacher, I forgot my line!" Uproarious laughter from the congregation only magnified the terror. I know I've told y'all this story before, but I was so horrified to speak in church after that I once tried to break my leg by jumping repeatedly off a big rock with my leg folded under me. I hurt my leg just enough that I had to limp up to the podium the next day (insert trombone wah wah here).

[Mayan_Elephant]

It's still the only LDS meeting that can hold my attention.

My only memory of participating in the Primary program was standing there with a microphone in my hand and saying, "Teacher, I forgot my line!" Uproarious laughter from the congregation only magnified the terror. I know I've told y'all this story before, but I was so horrified to speak in church after that I once tried to break my leg by jumping repeatedly off a big rock with my leg folded under me. I hurt my leg just enough that I had to limp up to the podium the next day (insert trombone wah wah here).

This belongs in a screenplay. Epic.

[wtfluff]

It's still the only LDS meeting that can hold my attention.

My only memory of participating in the Primary program was standing there with a microphone in my hand and saying, "Teacher, I forgot my line!" Uproarious laughter from the congregation only magnified the terror. I know I've told y'all this story before, but I was so horrified to speak in church after that I once tried to break my leg by jumping repeatedly off a big rock with my leg folded under me. I hurt my leg just enough that I had to limp up to the podium the next day (insert trombone wah wah here).

This belongs in a screenplay. Epic.

Young Hagoth stars in a new episode of South Park?

[Mayan_Elephant]

It's still the only LDS meeting that can hold my attention.

My only memory of participating in the Primary program was standing there with a microphone in my hand and saying, "Teacher, I forgot my line!" Uproarious laughter from the congregation only magnified the terror. I know I've told y'all this story before, but I was so horrified to speak in church after that I once tried to break my leg by jumping repeatedly off a big rock with my leg folded under me. I hurt my leg just enough that I had to limp up to the podium the next day (insert trombone wah wah here).

This belongs in a screenplay. Epic.

Young Hagoth stars in a new episode of South Park?

Nah, give the dude his own show and franchise.

[Linked]

It's still the only LDS meeting that can hold my attention.

My only memory of participating in the Primary program was standing there with a microphone in my hand and saying, "Teacher, I forgot my line!" Uproarious laughter from the congregation only magnified the terror. I know I've told y'all this story before, but I was so horrified to speak in church after that I once tried to break my leg by jumping repeatedly off a big rock with my leg folded under me. I hurt my leg just enough that I had to limp up to the podium the next day (insert trombone wah wah here).

That is tragic! I'm glad you made it through ok.

[alas]

It's still the only LDS meeting that can hold my attention.

My only memory of participating in the Primary program was standing there with a microphone in my hand and saying, "Teacher, I forgot my line!" Uproarious laughter from the congregation only magnified the terror. I know I've told y'all this story before, but I was so horrified to speak in church after that I once tried to break my leg by jumping repeatedly off a big rock with my leg folded under me. I hurt my leg just enough that I had to limp up to the podium the next day (insert trombone wah wah here).

That is tragic! I'm glad you made it through ok.

Why I always hated the children’s program. Those kids do not know that the adults laughing is because they know so much how that kid feels. It is kind of an empathy, “there but for the grace of God, go I.” The kids are trying their best, and take the laughing as mocking instead of empathetic, and it hurts them. Except for the smart ass kids who goof off to get laughter, and it encourages their bad behavior. So, we hurt the feelings of the good kids and reward the brats. Great!

[nibbler]

The adults lost their minds over it though. It frustrates me how these grown women and men draw so much meaning from kids doing what they were trained to do. The kids say the words that were written for them by these same adults. And somehow that makes the church true *sob* and in good hands *sob* with the rising generation. What do they expect the kids to do, praise the evil one instead? After all the sobbing was complete, during the closing prayer, half the kids sat up there with their eyes open looking bored out of their minds. I'll draw my meaning from that.

There's a lot of pressure on parents in church culture. How active your children are can go a long way in determining your social status within the community.

Once you're done with all of your own ordinances and you've attained all of the cultural carrots that are dangled in front of people, there's not much left to the church experience. Most active members get the last carrott in their early twenties. All you've really got left at that stage is seeing your children and grandchildren through to attaining those same carrots.

In addition to indoctrinating, I get the feeling that these scripted primary programs give parents some sense of security. It helps them envision the day that they'll be able to brag about how many of their kids went on missions and how many of their grandchildren got married in the temple.

At that age parents are also typically of the mindset that their children must be tethered to the church to "make it." Here again the primary program delivers that sense of security that their kid is on the right track.

A parent losing their mind over the primary program could also be the result of them experiencing some mild relief from the heaps and heaps of anxiety cultural Mormonism has burdened them with. It's a public display that helps answer the question, "Will my tribe accept my child?"

[Linked]

The adults lost their minds over it though. It frustrates me how these grown women and men draw so much meaning from kids doing what they were trained to do. The kids say the words that were written for them by these same adults. And somehow that makes the church true *sob* and in good hands *sob* with the rising generation. What do they expect the kids to do, praise the evil one instead? After all the sobbing was complete, during the closing prayer, half the kids sat up there with their eyes open looking bored out of their minds. I'll draw my meaning from that.

There's a lot of pressure on parents in church culture. How active your children are can go a long way in determining your social status within the community.

Once you're done with all of your own ordinances and you've attained all of the cultural carrots that are dangled in front of people, there's not much left to the church experience. Most active members get the last carrott in their early twenties. All you've really got left at that stage is seeing your children and grandchildren through to attaining those same carrots.

In addition to indoctrinating, I get the feeling that these scripted primary programs give parents some sense of security. It helps them envision the day that they'll be able to brag about how many of their kids went on missions and how many of their grandchildren got married in the temple.

At that age parents are also typically of the mindset that their children must be tethered to the church to "make it." Here again the primary program delivers that sense of security that their kid is on the right track.

A parent losing their mind over the primary program could also be the result of them experiencing some mild relief from the heaps and heaps of anxiety cultural Mormonism has burdened them with. It's a public display that helps answer the question, "Will my tribe accept my child?"

Interesting thoughts on some of the incentives that drive these parent's behavior. I have similar feelings when my kids do the things that are very important to my values too. I suppose the divide is that I disagree that faithfully repeating someone else's beliefs until they are your beliefs is an important value. But that is extremely important to being a lifelong faithful member of the church.

[nibbler]

... faithfully repeating someone else's beliefs until they are your beliefs ...

Oof. Now I know how to describe what church meetings are like to all my never-Mo friends.

I'm thread-jacking at this point but if that's what church meetings boil down to, it's a shame we spend all our time repeating the church is true and no time repeating be kind to everyone, even people who are different.