Learning how to fake it

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Learning how to fake it

Post by Conman52 » Fri Nov 04, 2022 11:02 am

Well as you folks may have seen from my posts I am married to a TBM in fact a super TBM. So I would like to bear
my testimony that I know the church is fake and I know it will continue to be fake for the foreseeable future so I know my testimony is true based on that perspective!!! In all kidding aside I am feeling less and less guilty for bearing my testimony that is certainly a lie on my part. If the church is fake what does it matter if I lie just to stay in the community (they are good people) and keep the marital bliss going because if I try to tell her to leave the church all attempts are futile . So in my view at least in this case it's OK to lie to keep the peace for now and pray that someday the truth shall prevail in my wife's worldview. Amen
By their fruits ye shall know them

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Re: Learning how to fake it

Post by Angel » Sat Nov 05, 2022 5:17 am

Devils advocate here, but sounds like a tangled web to me.

The trick to being honest, and likable, is to up your game around the house. Do the dishes. Hug your spouse big long ones, shoulder rubs, date nights. Be the middlemen not the source. Be a victim in it all, it's not your fault.

Also, introduce something new and beautiful to get devoted to, to fill the mind and loss. Get religious over health, or education, or nature, gardening, home improvements - pick something to go nuts with.

Best wishes to you.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Re: Learning how to fake it

Post by moksha » Mon Nov 07, 2022 12:09 pm

Here is a thought about enabling LDS missionary's inner voice:

Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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Re: Learning how to fake it

Post by Hagoth » Wed Nov 09, 2022 3:09 pm

Conman52 wrote:
Fri Nov 04, 2022 11:02 am
If the church is fake what does it matter if I lie just to stay in the community...
This is always a tough situation to be crammed into. You don't really want to lie, but on the other hand, they would prefer that you lie, rather rock the boat. The church's view about disbelief is that it's ok as long as you don't tell anybody. I'm sure there are General Authorities who are in pretty much the same bind.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Re: Learning how to fake it

Post by Cnsl1 » Thu Nov 10, 2022 12:03 am

I feel for you, buddy, but remember things change. You might find truths in the corners somewhere and your wife may eventually realize she doesn't have to believe all of it. Elephants aren't eaten in one sitting.

I found it helpful to ask my wife what does she believe. Really believe. It can be uncomfortable to dig deep, but it helps to find something that we both believe and maybe that becomes an anchor spot. Sometimes it's not so much a difference of belief, but a difference in how much you want to enmesh in the culture.

In my experience, "true believing" people don't always believe it ALL. Sometimes we assume they do, but they really don't. So... ask. The questions can help a person determine what they want to believe.

And when I say ask... i mean, stuff like, "what do you think about section 132? It seems like it's saying that polygamy is the eternal law. I'm having trouble believing that.. do you believe that?" And "what do you believe about heavenly parents?" Don't settle for the stock missionary answer. But what do YOU really think?

If this makes things worse, then why did you listen to me?

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